15 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ON RETHINKING OUR PERCEPTION OF WOMEN

by Albany Buipe

Recently, I gave a lecture at VALCO Hall in UCC on the topic RETHINKING OUR PERCEPTION ON WOMEN; and it is my habit that after any major project I do a survey to find out in what ways I can improve the contents that I give to my audience.

The reports from the short survey suggested that the audience took two extreme sides, while one group praised and loved the lecture, the other condemned it as being overly academic and so focused on my personal experiences. In lieu of the reports I decided to rewrite the lecture in the form of questions and answers in the hope that it will improve upon and touch on the things that I could not make up for in the lecture.

Well, this is a work in progress, at the moment I have addressed 15 questions. This post will be updated as I continue to research the topic. I ask Allah to grant us success.

RETHINKING OUR PERCEPTION OF WOMEN

Q&A

Question 1. Rethinking our perception of women, Imam can you add some scope to the theme of this discussion?

First of all, a topic of this kind can easily get misunderstood so I think this is an important question. In attempting to answer it, I may be able to clarify the motivation behind my choice of it.

Secondly, this is definitely a topic about women, but it is not an exclusive one for a specific group in society—not women and not men. If we have to specify an audience for it then I will say it is for guardians who have opinions in the upbringing of the next generation of people in society; boys and girls alike.

It is necessary that we rethink how we perceive women, we the men need to do this, the women need to this, teachers, and curriculum designers need it as well. Every member of society needs to rethink their perception about women.

In terms of the domain around which we need to rethink our ideas too, there is no specifications, but I am only a few things and as such I can only talk of a count list. The hope however is to motivate similar discussions and comparisons in other domains as well.

Therefore, the examples that I’ll be giving in the course of the discussion should be taken only as inclusive examples, in other words, if I came from a different background I would have been giving different set of examples and maybe those would even be better than what I’ll give herein.

Suggestion: So Imām, you mean the topic is not for women but every member of society.

Yes. Although, it is entirely about them.

Question 2. And what does that mean?

I believe that it will become clear as we get down into the discussion.

Question 3. Alright, then Imām can you tell us what exactly you want us to understand from the theme?

In general, we have been instructed by Allah to take the Ṣaḥābah as our example. This instruction is universal, we need to imitate them in our acts of worship; we need to take them as an example in terms of societal matters, especially in terms of ethics and morals the motivation and aims of which do not change over time. Perhaps, we can get back to this point some other time. I do not want to drift far away from the topic.

But continuing on following the examples of the Ṣaḥābah, we need to more importantly take our understanding of Islam from their understanding. Our methodologies in terms of ‘Aqīdah should come from them, our approach to Fiqh should match with their approach, etc.

From the broadness of the instructions in this regard, we can conclude that our perception of women should equally match how they perceived women.

Question 4. Imām, so even in terms of our marketing strategies, education, etc., we need to match with the Ṣaḥābah? Can someone not assume that their era was different from ours?

Well, if someone thought that I am making the claim that the times are same then they are getting the whole thing wrong. There are things in society that are fixed they do not need changing over time. Take for instance, Tawḥīd; let me give a clearer example, theft has always had the same harm on society from the time of Adam and Eve till date. Thus, the punishment that Islam passed on it in the Prophet’s (ﷺ) era remains the same.

By the way, let me cite some examples from the Qur’an and Hadith, perhaps, the point will be clearer that way.

In Sūrah al-Tawbah, 9.100, Allah praised the Ṣaḥābah, the migrants and the helpers both, and then He said, ‘and those who follow their examples in righteousness, Allah is pleased with them and they too are pleased with Him.’

Shaykh Nāṣir al-Sa’dī has an excellent book in which he explains how to approach and understand the Qur’an, one particular principle in the book that I particularly love is this: the omission of the object (receiver) of an action signifies an inclusion of all possible objects in the context.

In our example, for instance, Allah does not specify in what way those who came after should follow the Ṣaḥābah, is it in their style of thinking? Is it in their style of dress? Is it in their belief methodologies? Is it in terms of their understanding of economics?

Per the principle, and in there he gives several few proofs for it, all of these are a few examples of the ways in which we should imitate the Ṣaḥābah.

The part therefore we’ll emphasise is in terms of their style of thinking. Therefore, the point of this topic is to go back in time till we get to their era and observe how they perceived women in the different aspects of life—responsibilities and roles and profession and potentials etc.

This is the point of the theme. Just before you move to your next question, I want to add that the Prophet (ﷺ) described them, the Ṣaḥābah, as the best of all generation, followed by their students and the students after those.

Question 5. But is there a perception that you consider incorrect at present?

You know right. If we are rethinking, then there must be a current trend, and there is probably something wrong about it.

Yes. I agree with this line of thinking. There is a current trend, if we don’t even pluralise it; and yes, there is something wrong with that trend in the perception of women.

Question 6. Imām, you know examples are sometimes more demonstrative than theories, so can you give some examples, maybe some of the listeners and audience are wondering already what you are talking about?

I’ll cite two examples, one on education and another on agriculture. In our madāris, we see that the women can attend madrasah for all their lives and all they ever learn is the rules of menstruation. Upon interactions and critical observation, I see that the teachers seem to think that the women are not capable of understanding the other areas of the Islamic Sciences.

In a few societies, agriculture is reserved as a prerogative of men. Sadly, in these societies when the women get married their husbands forget they were not trained for the job and go on to force them to the farms anyway under the hoax that they have the right to ask them. They may have the right but abuse is not allowed in Islam.

I believe I have explained that the examples are not exclusive, therefore, there are other aspects that can be looked at.

Furthermore, a girl usually is brought up with the idea that all she has to do is to perfect her kitchen skills. Inasmuch as she should know these skills, it is criminal to restrict her to those.

Question 7. Can you rephrase the problem exactly with this trend?

Yes. The thing is that there are responsibilities in society that have somehow between distributed among different groups: men, women, girls and boys among the younger generation etc. There is nothing wrong in being clear about the roles of any group.

The problem is that when it comes to girls, most people today turn to think that they do not have to learn much else; they should not do much else. This kind of thinking is wrong and is contradictory with the thinking in the era of the Ṣaḥābah.

Question 8. Imām, don’t you think that when women are given such strength and power, as it is said, ‘knowledge is power,’ there is going to be chaos in society?

You see this is a big problem, it is hard to tell who exactly benefits from this style of thinking. The Ṣaḥābah did not have any problem with their wives, their children etc. having power, or strength, or whatever it is called today.

In fact, on observing their lifestyle one can conclude that civilised people do not care when their wives are stubborn—inherently though all civilised women are.

Let me give you an example from the life of ‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb and the Prophet (ﷺ) in their dealings with the wives.

‘Umar b. al-Khaṭṭāb on one occasion went home talking loud at his wife and she retorted. ‘Umar was shocked at her new behaviour, because back then in Makkah women did not dare speak back at them—and remember then Jāhiliyyah was at its peak. Thus, the idea that women do not have a voice is really anachronistic.

Anyways, ‘Umar forgot what it was that he was ranting about and now focuses on her new behaviour, ‘Do you dare speak back at me?’ And she replies, ‘Even the wives of the Prophet (ﷺ) speak back at him, and you?’

Briefly stating the rest of the story, ‘Umar went to find out from Ḥafṣah who confirms that it is true.

The point from the incident is that the stubbornness, so to say, of women was really not a problem in the era of the Prophet (ﷺ) or in the golden eras of Islam.

Question 9. But is there a way to handle such stubbornness?

I don’t really know and I truly don’t really care. Why is that? In the beginning, I explained that we have been instructed to imitate the Ṣaḥābah in our dealings. That we should imitate the Prophet (ﷺ) is obvious.

Neither the Prophet (ﷺ) nor the Ṣaḥābah sought to handle the stubbornness of their wives. We can talk about nushūz (arrogance etc.) of women later. I can go on end giving some more examples from the life of the Prophet (ﷺ) about how he responded to the ‘stubborn reactions’ from his wives.

Question 10. Therefore, Imām do you think that empowering women with education is not a cause for alarm in society?

Just think about it, empowering societies with education in general in one form or another threatens governments, and managers of higher institutions, do you think they should quit sponsoring education. Most people will say it is the constitutional rights of the people to be given quality education.

In Islam, it is the religious and constitutional right of girls and women to be given equal amount of education as men and women. At the advent of Islam, women were often oppressed but Islam came to take a different stance. In fact, the Prophet (ﷺ) spoke on the reward there is in giving a girl education and he spoke so high of it,

حَدَّثَنِي عَمْرٌو النَّاقِدُ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو أَحْمَدَ الزُّبَيْرِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الْعَزِيزِ، عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللهِ بْنِ أَبِي بَكْرِ بْنِ أَنَسٍ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ (مَنْ عَالَ جَارِيَتَيْنِ حَتَّى تَبْلُغَا، جَاءَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ أَنَا وَهُوَ) وَضَمَّ أَصَابِعَهُ

‘Whoever perfects the caretaking and cultivation of two daughters till they mature, shall come to the Judgment Day in my company.’ Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, no. 2631.

In my humble opinion, most people get the difference wrong about responsibilities and profession; roles and potentials and other similar pairs.

Question 11. Can you elaborate on that a bit?

You see, it is the responsibility of the wife to be obedient to her husband; or technically speaking, it is the responsibility of the woman to be the wife, so she must be obedient to the husband, she is the mother and caretaker of the children etc.

But does not the man also have responsibilities? Before the comparisons even let me take the point further.

Responsibilities are like roles that we have been assigned by virtue of the societies we are born in, by virtue of our different sexes and by virtue of religion even. And religiously a failure in respect of responsibility is punishable by law.

Allah created us all to worship Him, but is that all we do in life? No, we pursue our personal dreams and build upon our potentials. Therefore, the fact that a woman must obey her husband is not a suggestion by Islam that society, or the husband, can place injunctions as to what goals she can pursue.

Islam does not give him that right especially if her attempts at chasing her dreams do not interfere with her roles as a mother, her roles as a wife etc. and often they should not.

Question 12. Seriously, that sounds interesting. But is there a historical demonstration of this point?

The soundest opinion on women and battle is that her role is that of nursing the injured soldiers. This point is agreed upon among the majority of scholars. However, there are numerous examples from the time of the Prophet (ﷺ) until the era of the Caliphs that women participated in battle and fought at the forefront like men.

We have the example of Umm ‘Ammārah who defended the Prophet (ﷺ) during Uḥud, the Prophet (ﷺ) exclaimed in her right, ‘and who else is capable of what you can do!’

There are several such examples.

During the era of Ibn Taymiyah, Ibn Kathīr and others write down for us, while al-Mizzī among others were teaching the men the likes of al-Dhahabī etc., their wives also engaged in teaching especially the women.

Ibn Kathīr narrates the incidents as an appellation, he writes them to be an achievement not a trouble they had to handle.

Question 13. You were mentioning a moment ago that there is a thin line between roles and dreams, yes can you go on with that one again?

There is no thin line in between, there is a wide gap in between, it is everything about this discussion.

We have responsibilities as members of society, families etc., but there is nothing that indicates, talking about religion, that all we have to do is pursue those responsibilities as dreams.

Humans have free will, what this means is not to simply rant about the pillars of Īmān and Qadar. Instead, as long as Islam does not declare anything to be haram outrightly or subtly then the Muslim, man or woman, is free to pursue it and nobody has the right to question the decision.

The best that anyone can do is to guide and support how we pursue our goals not to place injunctions on them.

Shaykh Nāṣir al-Sa‘dī demonstrated a critical point in a book of his about juridical principles; he talks on Allah’s mercy in the legislations, and he said although the purpose of our existence is the worship of Allah, most of the acts that Allah instructs us to perform last for a few minutes only, a few last a day in a short period of time comparing with a person’s whole lifespan for example.

So there is really a problem when society attempts to put restrictions on women because of her responsibilities.

In fact, when a woman has reached higher levels then she has more chances of assisting society. Think of the contribution of Ā’ishah to her society, to all societies that have come to pass and to the generations yet to live.

Question 14. You have emphasised the difference between potentials and responsibilities, but is there not some sort of connection between? Don’t you think the kind of responsibilities that we are assigned can affect how well we pursue our dreams and how much even we achieve them?

Absolutely. In fact, I expect that some of our sisters take it further about their responsibilities from childhood to do all the chores etc., I agree totally that this can affect their levels of achievement.

Rather than sit and make comparisons of the different roles assigned to us by society, I recommend strategising in the use of our time. The best example is that of ‘Aṭā b. Abī Rabāḥ, he was a celebrated jurist in Makkah and continues to be one of the most referenced jurists of all times.

The thing about him is that he started out in life as a slave, he had a mistress he had to serve, basically he never had the choices almost all of us have had in life, to tell the parents and guardians what we desire for an occasion, etc., despite our roles. All he had, it is correct to assume, were the roles to serve. Those were assigned to him by Islam—a slave must be unquestionably obedient—and society as well.

What did he do? Complain? No., that is what we would do today, it was not an option for him at all. He strategised. ‘Aṭā divided his time into three: a third he used for the worship of Allah, another third he used to serve his mistress and the final third he employed in the pursue of his dream to be a scholar.

He dedicated, say 24 / 3, 8 hours of his time in the day for knowledge, and he did this so well that his mistress decided to free him. At that point on he dedicated all of his life for knowledge.

Whatever role it is that society assigns us we have two options, we can either sit idle and complain, or look deeper into the ways to manage our time in order to pursue the roles we want to play as professionals.

Yes. Our roles affect how much we achieve we cannot help it. But they should not prevent us from achieving our dreams. Salmān al-Fārisī’s story is quite popular, and I think that it teaches us not to relent in chasing our goals.

Question 15. Imām, all these stuff you are teaching us sound so interesting on the traditional front, I mean your style of reasoning, can you cite some textual backings as to why a woman should be given all of the attention you are asking for her?

Your question is both intelligent and funny. My first statement is clarification.

I am not asking attention for women, instead, I am pointing out that they have rights to scholarship which they have been denied, they have rights in terms of expressing their thoughts and contributions—these rights should be given back to them.

In the Qur’an, Allah instructs the Prophet (ﷺ) and He said, ‘and do relate the stories that they may reflect.’ Discussing one of the mentions of Prophet Ibrāhīm (ﷺ), Shaykh al-‘Uthaymīn explained that, ‘Allah tells the stories of righteous people so that they serve as models for us.’ Not that the verse is unclear in some way.

Now back in the Qur’an again, let’s see whom Allah cites as model for the believers. In Sūrah al-Taḥrīm, 66.11-12, Allah says,

وَضَرَبَ اللَّهُ مَثَلًا لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا امْرَأَتَ فِرْعَوْنَ إِذْ قَالَتْ رَبِّ ابْنِ لِي عِنْدَكَ بَيْتًا فِي الْجَنَّةِ وَنَجِّنِي مِنْ فِرْعَوْنَ وَعَمَلِهِ وَنَجِّنِي مِنَ الْقَوْمِ الظَّالِمِينَ وَمَرْيَمَ ابْنَتَ عِمْرَانَ الَّتِي أَحْصَنَتْ فَرْجَهَا فَنَفَخْنَا فِيهِ مِنْ رُوحِنَا وَصَدَّقَتْ بِكَلِمَاتِ رَبِّهَا وَكُتُبِهِ وَكَانَتْ مِنَ الْقَانِتِينَ

‘And Allah cites an example of those who believed, the wife of Pharaoh, when she said, ‘My Lord, build for me near You a house in Paradise and save me from Pharaoh and his deeds and save me from the wrongdoing people. And the example of Maryam, the daughter of ‘Imrān, who guarded her chastity, so We blew into her [garment] through Our angel, and she believed in the words of her Lord and His scriptures and was of the devoutly obedient.’

Two examples of those who believed, Allah could have cited any of the several prophets and messengers but He cites the wife of the stubborn Pharaoh, and Maryam, the mother of the Prophet Īsā (ﷺ).

I see a dedicated woman in Āsiyah; she pursued her wish to be an obedient servant of Allah despite her husband. I think that it is safe to conclude that the goals of the wife don’t have to match that of the husband for her to succeed: her success is independent of any element in society.

Then in Maryam I see a well-informed mother, and I’m not talking about the motherhood of Maryam to ‘Īsā but that of Maryam’s mother. Allah tells her story as follows:

إِذْ قَالَتِ امْرَأَتُ عِمْرَانَ رَبِّ إِنِّي نَذَرْتُ لَكَ مَا فِي بَطْنِي مُحَرَّرًا فَتَقَبَّلْ مِنِّي إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ فَلَمَّا وَضَعَتْهَا قَالَتْ رَبِّ إِنِّي وَضَعْتُهَا أُنْثَى وَاللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا وَضَعَتْ وَلَيْسَ الذَّكَرُ كَالْأُنْثَى وَإِنِّي سَمَّيْتُهَا مَرْيَمَ وَإِنِّي أُعِيذُهَا بِكَ وَذُرِّيَّتَهَا مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ

‘And mention when the wife of ‘Imrān said, ‘O my Lord, I have certainly pledged to You what is in my womb, consecrated [for Your service], so accept this from me. Indeed, You are the Hearing, the Knowing. But when she delivered her, she said, ‘O my Lord, I have delivered a female.’ But Allah knew most what she delivered.’ And I have named her Maryam, and I seek refuge in You for her and her descendants from Shayṭān, the outcast.’ Sūrah Āl ‘Imrān, 3.35-6.

Most people will immediately point that the story emphasises that the role of the woman is to raise the children. Of course, no one is debating this. But more than that the verse talks about a well-read mother who knows and understands her religion, so much that right from the period of conception she knew to always turn to Allah.

In addition, the next verse also tells us about the role of society in creating a good environment for the upbringing of a girl,

فَتَقَبَّلَهَا رَبُّهَا بِقَبُولٍ حَسَنٍ وَأَنْبَتَهَا نَبَاتًا حَسَنًا وَكَفَّلَهَا زَكَرِيَّا

‘Her Lord accepted her with good acceptance and caused her to grow in a good manner and put her in the care of Zakariyyā.’

Zakariyyā was not was not intimidated by her dedication, it is his kind of thinking we need to cultivate for women in our societies today.

Thanks for checking this post out.